


Different

by amazingcat



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-03-22 12:41:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3729316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amazingcat/pseuds/amazingcat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story starts of about six years after the end of season 5. </p>
<p>Brian and Justin are embracing a new adventure. Being a full time parent turns out to be slightly more different then Brian would have thought. </p>
<p>*This is pretty much just fluff and anti-angst medication*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Awake

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just a drabble. It is also the first thing I've ever posted in my life so please be kind!
> 
> EDIT: I ended up continuing it.
> 
> *English is not my first language therefore there will probably be grammatical mistakes. I will end up editing the chapters after a while but right now it is not my main focus. Nor do I have the time for it at the moment.*

He never thought he’d end up liking this whole thing. After all it was everything he’d always said he was against.

It was different then with Gus. Not more or less just _different_ , and still just as intense and scary. He loved Gus of course, more then he ever thought he would when he agreed to have him. Still, he understood that at the end of the day he would return home, to his two mothers. He didn't have to worry about him all day long. He knew that Lindsey and Mel loved him and took care of him.

So it was only natural that it would be different with Jem. He had to actually be there at all times for him. Feed him at three in the morning when Justin would be to tired to lift his head from the pillow. Change his dirty dippers, read to him a good night story, even though he knew that Jem didn't actually understand any of it. According to the father of the year Justin Taylor though, it was important for a kids development. Something about stimulating the brain and making him feel secure in the fact that they would be there at all times for him.

Being awake in the middle of the night wasn't anything unusual for Brian Fucking Kinney. Fucking being the cue word here. Nothing unusual about that. But right now it was rather the reason of doing so. Watching someone sleep in the middle of the night, other then Justin that is, was strange. Here was a tiny little person so depended on him and it scared the shit out of him. Jem always seemed to wake up at three am. He didn't cry all that much really just sniffled and made some shy noises, wanting to tell that he was hungry. He was Justin's son after all. Eating was always a priority no matter what the time was.  

Jem was his. His and Justin's. Jem needed him, his love and time and he had come to conclusion that he could (scratch that he WOULD) give him that.


	2. Bald

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote another chapter! I started to write this for myself. Once in a while I get these domesticated Brian feelings that I can't help. That includes Brian and Justin rasing a kid together. Felt that I've read all there is to read so I decided to write it myself.

When Justin got into the living room his heart heart started beating faster, and the smile got bigger at the sight. He found Brian on the soft carpet floor, the living room table had been moved. Toys were scattered all over the floor. Brian was on his side, facing Jem who was on his stomach. He was talking softly to the baby. The arm he wasn't leaning on holding one of Jem's hands. Justin made sure to take a picture as subtly as possible, so he could paint the scenery later. He stepped closer and Brian finally took notice of him. Brian picked up Jem and turned to lay on his back, the baby secured on his chest.

Justin laid on the carpet next to him. Kissed him softly and then Jem. His hand lightly on Jem's back and his head resting on Brian's shoulder. It didn't take long before he spoke. "He looks so much like me."

Brian was quick to answer, a smile resting on his lips "he looks like a baby, don't they all look the same?"

Justin turned to meet his gaze. A pretend hurt occupied his face. "No he doesn't, Brian look! His eyes are blue and hair is blond. Just like mine!"

"He's bald."

"You did not just call our son bald!" slapping his arm lightly. "His hair will grow out soon. It's just that it's so light that it looks like it."

"He has your smile I guess." He wouldn't admit that Jem also had his adorable little nose. That would mean admitting that Justin had it to and this Brian Kinney may be domesticated by now, but he would not use the word adorable without a hint of sarcasm!

Never did Brian Kinney think he'd live up to become thirty, now he'd passed forty. He thought he'd been crazy to have ever thought his life had been over back then. It was a known fact that Brian had been self medicating for a part of his life. Growing up in a home like his who wouldn't really. But then the dancing miracle with the name Justin came along. The one he called Sunshine, but thought of him as the sun it self. The stubborn little twat who wouldn't take no for an answer.

It been tough to make it this far. They hadn't made it easy for each other.

Only a couple weeks after Justin moved to New York, Brian had a breakdown. It had been building up really, and the whole gang, what was left of it, saw it coming. The phone calls weren't nearly enough for either of them. After they'd hang up Brian would be angry at himself. For letting things ever go this far. For feeling hurt over someone. He didn't visit Justin, telling himself that he wanted him to settle in first. Drinking more, only managing to sleep if the booze knocked him over. Then quickly realizing he was full of shit, trying to convince himself that Justin would get over this whole thing soon. It took two months before Justin barged into his office after the phone had been silent for two weeks straight. Having a PhD in "The work of Brian Kinney's brain" he knew what was wrong.

"You fucking bastard!" He voice was firm "you thought you could ship me off to NY and then let yourself drown in a pool of self pity?"  
Brian didn't know how to respond. To say he was shocked to see Sunshine standing in front of him, would me an understatement. He opened his mouth a little trying to get out an answer. He didn't get much of a chance though, because Justin spoke again.

"Look I got about 18 hours until my plane leaves for NY again so here's what we're going to do." His attitude hadn't changed he was on a mission. But his voice was a tad softer. "We're going to go home, and you're going to take a shower. Then were going to eat, because I'm hungry and you look like a shadow of yourself. You're going to pull yourself together because I don't have time for this shit." The last words sent a shiver through Brian's body. Justin continued, this was another one of his never rants that would go down in the history books.

"I love you, you fucking idiot and you love me to so do something about it. This whole 'it's only time' shit doesn't look like it's working for me or you. So your going to make sure you to take care of yourself, do your job make more fucking money and buy a plane ticket to NY AS often as possible. You're going to make time for me. For us." He took a break to breath then and moved closer. His hands found Brian's neck his fingers going into his hair. Brian sighted then, he'd missed these hands.

"Then, in a short while, when we're both great we will drag our asses back to each other and be even be even greater together. We'll be a big fucking success." Brian was smiling at this point. Justin did the same. Brian's face then changed to 'I'm such and idiot' smile and that was it. He went for a mind shattering kiss but Justin soon drew back "Oh and when you call next time, try starting the conversation with something other than 'what are you wearing'"

Five months later, a shitty apartment in NY, 03:45 in the night, Brian told Justin he was staying. They were both to tired and sweaty by this point to say or do more. Justin only managed to smile and sealed the deal with a short kiss. He'd seen this coming for a while too.


	3. Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin and Brian decide its time to tell the family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this on the way home after finishing my psychology exam. Let me know what you think!

*Flashback. Jem is not born yet.*

"Do you think we have to tell them about it soon?" Justin asked not really looking at him. 

"We don’t  _have_  to do anything. But I guess its time. We can tell them next Sunday at Debs. I mean we've waited this long..." It was strange for Brian, hearing Justin speak these words. With the exception of Jennifer who had somehow figured it out herself they hadn't told anyone about their decision to have a kid. Not even after they’d found out it was a boy, not that the sex of the baby mattered, but knowing it made it all more real. He had been certain Justin was going to run and tell every one they knew. Including backroom Todd. Truth be told he had expected a lot of things, that didn't turn out like that. Justin had squeled a bit then jumped around for a while, stopped and shed a good amount of happy tears. Before Brian wrapped him in a hug. Everything until then had been expected what came next had not.

Justin had said he just wanted to wait a little more on telling everyone about the baby. H wanted to make sure everything was going to be fine first. Brian understood, he knew Justin was waiting for the storm to hit, just like he himself was. Because things were never this good for this long for them. Not without something or someone interfering things. Then Brian woke up on day with a sudden realization that they’d survived all these shitty storms together anyway, so he let it go. Justin on the other hand now several months later still did not. 

"You know everything is going to be fine right? You don’t have to worry now” he then smiled at him reassuringly. "In just a matter of few days you are going to have a kid Justin and God he will be fine. He will be great and perfect and we are going to have to deal with him for the next eighteen years."

Justin gave him a nervous smile in return, before speaking “I guess so. God I really really hope so." He buried his face In Brian's chest and Brian hugged him tighter. "They are going to freak out if we just show up with a new born baby on Sunday at dinner.” He'd said the last sentence with a chuckle and Brian had laughed back. Matilda's  due date was on Wednesday in two days. 

“Well actually I was thinking bigger. Maybe we should invite them to Britin instead you know. Since we're going to do this we should do it properly.” Then Justin grinned and gave him a one of those smiles he was so famous for. He didn’t make any attempt to speak though so Brian took it as a hint to continue. “It be easier to just kick them all out in the end. And if this kid is half as a drama queen as you are he'd probably want to make a grand entre.” This is why Justin loved him so much. Because he would say these things when you least expect it and make all of Justin’s worries slip away. Justin had kissed him then, roughly, trying to show his gratitude  and tell him he loved him.

Before the kiss had the chance to became something more, the ringing of phone put a stop to it. Matilda was in the delivery room.


	4. The Arrivel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are starting where we left of last chapter. Brian and Justin are in the hospital waiting for the Jem`s arrival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as you have probably noticed by now we are jumping back and forward between time here, so please let me know if it gets confusing at times. I plan to go back and Edit the other chapter too, try to make it easier to see that. Also to edit/fix any language mistakes. I am not a native english speaker so at times i don`t notice a mistake before posting it.

*******

Justin had been asked if he wanted to cut the cord. He of course already in tears, had fiercely nodded yes.

Brian didn't  dare move that much closer, he was watching them though. I guess the only word he could describe this feeling was _weird_. It was a mix between absolutely amazed and freaked out about it all. There was blood and slime and for a short second he was glad he had missed the actual birth of Gus.The baby looked weird but he'd figured it was normal when you'd just spent nine months in someone's belly and then come out of a disgusting vagina. 

The he was hit with another wave of happy and scary feelings because this, along with seeing Gus for the first time, was one of the greatest moments of his life.

Matilda was rolled out of the room as soon as the delivery was over. The idea was to make it easier for all of them to separate. They had used a different egg-donor, meaning she was just carrying the baby without having any biological connection to it. They had all been prepared and gone through this with the agency long before.

"So you ready to hold your son" one of the nurses asked. The baby was bundled up in some sort of a blanket by now. Looking at his partner Brian could see him trying to stop the tears. Brian was by now gripping tight onto his hand and then the one of the nurses passed the baby over to Justin. Brian was standing in front of him, one arm around Justin and other holding onto the baby. His eyes went from the baby to Justin and the tears that had threatened to spill earlier were now streaming down his cheeks, not caring that there were people there watching. He didn't trust his voice to say anything so instead he kissed Justin, feeling as if it'd been way to long. It was short and Justin had been smiling through it all, but Brian was sure he'd remember that one for a long time.

 

***

Two day later they were back at home at Britin. They had decided that they would probably need more then a just a week to settle down and get into a routine before having an actual party. They had nothing planned and Jem as expected, following his fathers footsteps, craved constant attention. Brian was sure the kid was some sort of a genius really or an evil mastermind. The first three days he had spent crying and whimpering, Justin had been quick to assure Brian that Jem was just fine. Knowing he had been worried sick that he was doing something wrong or that he had harmed him in any way. By holding him wrong, by simply touching him. But Jem was so little and scared the shit out of him.

"Its normal you know. This is what babies do. They eat and they poop and they cry. But you already knew that... So stop panicking and suck it up old man." He had said it with a reassuring smile and Brian was lost. He cursed himself a little for allowing this to ever happen. Not the whole loving Justin or getting a baby part, but the one where Justin thought he could call him old and get away with it. For the most part he was grateful for the twat.

"Well at least we know he has strong lungs I guess. Who knew someone so little can make so much sound!"

Weirdly or magically  enough, once the the first week had passed things changed. Jem's evil mastermind was again shown this time in the form of obsession. Crying didn't seemed to be a priority anymore. Being held by Brian and Justin was pretty much all that mattered in life. Well that and eating.

***

Brian was sprawled on the couch, Jem resting on his chest. He would have never imagined comfort would feel this good. "Now listen here sonny boy, in a couple of days you're going to meet this group of crazy people." The words were rolling out of his tongue. Talking with a baby was much easier then with someone who actually understood what he was saying. "So we have to look out for each other! I am going to promise that ill do my best to make sure you'll get out of it alive before you are smothered to death. In return if you could kindly make a fuss once in a while, or poop for that matter, so i can get out of there, yeah that would be great." Jem was drooling on him "thank you for your understanding sir. Always a pleasure making business with you!" 

"What are you teaching our son?" Brian turned to look at Justin. He always seemed to be  _accidentally_ overhearing conversations these days. 

"Just covering some basic survival tactics." he smiled before returning back to Jem. "Also kids need to learn how to negotiate from early on. Although i might leave that last one to you. Seeing as you're so good at it Sunshine. 

"You are so full of shit" he couldn't hold back his laughter by then. He walked over to the couch and Brian made room for him. Soon they were both sitting feet on the table. Brian passed Jem over to Justin and pulled them closer. An arm around Justing shoulder. It wasn't long before Justin was practically resting entirely on Brian`s chest. "You know what Jem? We are going to do get over this shit as a team. Quick in quick out, and before you know it we are all alone again. Peace and quiet will return the lands of Britin again."

"Thats exactly what I said!"

"Yeah but Brian, you forgot this important detail."

"Go ahead Sunshine. Enlighten me" the smile on his lips was due to the fact that he already knew what Justin was going to say. 

"Even though it gets a little to much sometimes, these people kind of love us a great deal and we love them."

 


	5. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for Jem`s introduction party! How will the family react?

"Are you ready for this?" Justin asked Brian. The party was about to start and he was dressing Jem. 

"No. They are going to kill us." Everything else was ready. The food had arrived, the place had been decorated, and by decorated meaning the dinning table had been set. The bar was open and someone would be serving drinks during the evening. Brian thought that he would probably be the one to mostly benefit from it. Even though he didn't drink nearly as much as he used to, this was a special and frightening night.

"With luck Debbie is going to be so happy and all over Jem she won't even notice us!" Justin said with a chuckle. Brian couldn't help but smile at that. 

"It's not to late you know. We can call everyone and cancel it, say you're not feeling good." He knew he was talking shit and Justin wasn't buying any of it. 

"No we can't! It was your idea any way so suck it up Mr. Kinney." 

"But look at him. He is so little and they're so many. Oh and did I mention how loud they are!" 

"He'll be fine. Besides, as I remember you two have a plan." He was practically cooing at Jem now "isn't that right baby! You and your old dad over here are going to take care of each other."

***  
The first one there was Michael, Ben and Hunter. They were greeted at the door by a butler who showed them to the back yard. It didn't take long before the whole family was there. Even the girls, who had returned from Canada merely a year after they left, we're here.  
Needles to say they were all confused as to what was happening. No one a clue but they were all making suggestions.

"Maybe they decided to get married again!" Debbie said.  
Michael was quick to answer his mother. "Yeah maybe, but it's weird you know how could they plan a fucking wedding and not tell us about it. I mean Brian would have probably been all over us about proper dress attire." 

Mel spoke up "I don't think that's it either. I mean they asked if we could get a hold of a babysitter and promised to pick up Gus early in the morning tomorrow. As much as I enjoy calling Brian a dick, I don't think he would get married without Gus present."

Jennifer, knowing what this was about, was trying to stand in the back and not be noticed. Aside from Molly who was in college and couldn't make it tonight, she was the only one of the family who knew the reason. Fortunately, she didn't have to keep a straight face for long. The music was turned down and Justin and Brian were making their way to the crowd.

Brian was holding Jem in his arms, the little boy resting his head on his daddy's chest. Justin was right beside him smiling like a fool, all previous worries long gone.   
No one said anything for a few moments. A side from a few gasps nothing could be heard.  
After a quick glance at his two boys Justin spoke up.

"Thank you all for coming tonight, even though you didn't have any explanation as to why you had to be here." This was awfully formal and he knew that he and Brian would laugh at it later. Still he continued "the reason we invited you is because you mean a lot to us so we'd like to introduce you to our son, Jem." 

"Heavens sake, tell me I'm not dreaming again, Drew dear am I naked right now?" Brian couldn't help but laugh his arms still secured around Jem.

"You're not dreaming Emmet he said. Also fortunately for us all, especially the innocent baby eyes here, you're not naked either." He thought this was a good moment to continue the introduction before any one else butted in and said something also making sure to keep up the humor with it. "Jem over here is two weeks old; his favorite pas time activities include pooping, eating and crying." Some of them including Justin laughed a little at this. Lindsey still amazed decided to speak, but it seemed like she had trouble forming the actual words.

"B... but how, when... I just don't understand anything."

Brian thought he'd leave this one for Justin to answer. "As for how we used a surrogate with a different egg donor, Jem is biologically mine buy..." knowing Justin was about to get sentimental, about how Brian is just as much Jem's father as Justin is he decided to take over. "I actually helped to. Well at least I helped Justin produce the semen so that makes me his dad as well I guess." Justin was wearing a light shade of red on his face by know but he was way to amused curse Brian about it.

Hunter turned to Brian “wait so does this mean i really don’t have a chance anymore?” Brian laughed and Justin said “You never did.”

He smirked but wouldn't let the blond have it. “Still, the whole daddy thing looks hot on you Brian.” Brian laughed but added that he already was a father.

Soon they were all over them asking questions and what not. A few tears escaped were shed by Deb, Emmet and even though he won't ever admit it, Michael.   
Michael was also one of them who were most upset about it all. "How could you keep this hidden from us Brian? We're your family and I know it's hard for you to talk about shit sometimes but this is big." Brian was about to make a remark how Jem is actually way to short and tiny but Justin came to his rescue.

  
"Actually it's my fault." He tried to force a smile but they all could see through it. "You all know how things come crashing down on us every time something good happens. I didn't want to say anything before we were certain everything was fine." Blake, Ted and Ben nodded. Jennifer knowing what he was talking about was wearing a sad smile. Deb and the girls were still in shock. Brian gave him a reassuring smile. He wanted to say it didn't concern any of them and that they didn't have to explain themself. Unfortunately he knew he probably shouldn't say that to his guest so in stead he said "Now if you don't mind dinner is served and I'm sure Sunshine here is starving. You all know how much he can eat." Weirdly enough he couldn't help smiling while saying that. He passed Jem to Justin and made his way to the dinning table, they all followed silently whispering to one another. Jennifer and Justin were the last ones in the line.

"How's my favorite grandson doing?" She said looking like a proud mother hen.

"Your only grandson is doing just fine. Thanks for not saying anything mom I know how hard it must have been for you."

Dinner couldn't have passed any slower for Brian. It seemed as if time was dragging out and all the baby talk was making him sick. They even tried passing a joke or two about it, none of them making Brian laugh. Justin was more than happy that Brian had insisted on hiring waiters for the evening, the last thing he wanted to do right now was cleaned up or do the dishes.

Reluctantly, Brian let them have their turn and hold Jem. He tried not to wince whenever they passed him from one person to another. Yes, Brian Kinney, former stud of Liberty Avenue was being way too protective over a baby. A baby he was raising with his partner. Oh did he forget the fact that they were now living on a freaking mansion. Things were way out of ordinary but for some weird fucked up reason he wouldn't change it for anything.

"So this is why you wanted to pick up Gus tomorrow in stead? You wanted to tell him yourself, didn't you?" Lindsey said. It was her turn to hold Jem right now. Brian only nodded; his face read that he didn't want to talk about it right now. Lindsey decided to let him of and change the theme "God he is such a quiet baby. He's not even crying." Now that is something Brian found funny. "Oh yeah come back around tomorrow or every night at three am. Then we'll discuss it again." Justin said. "He is just tired, didn't get much sleep last night." As if on cue Jem staring to act up and make a fuss. Brian was quick to take him in his arms. This was his chance to get away. He whispered an almost completely silent thank you in Jem's ear.

"If you don't mind I think it's time for bed. We'll probably stop by the dinner tomorrow with Gus anyway so I guess we'll see you."

Justin made sure to say a more proper goodnight trying to seem a little less rude then his partner.

“Thank you, again, for coming. And we are sorry we didn't tell any of you about it. Also I promise to try and get out of the house more as soon as everything is settled.” After a great deals of hugs, _I'll see you tomorrow’s_ , _I´m so proud of you_ and _if you need anything just call_ they were finally left alone. Well as alone as you could get with five people left to clean up.

***

Brian had just put Jem in his crib and they were on the way out of the nursery “That was an awful night.”

“Stop exaggerating Brian, it wasn't even that bad.”

“I guess it could have been worse. And Jem over there did stick plan or some of it. Not exactly what we had talked about but I’ll give him some credit.” Justin put an arm around him and Brian did the same.

“Let´s go to bed. Jem is probably going to wake up in a few hours again and we have to get up early tomorrow and get Gus.” He sighted, the lack of sleep was really starting to get to him.

“Damn it I had a better plan” giving Justin one of his tongue in cheek expressions.

The hand that had been on Brian’s lower back slipped even lower and he said “you know I’m always up for your plans stud.”

Needless to say, they didn't get much sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been thinking and I am probably going to write a chapter or two about what the gang really thought about this. Therefore i did not want to go into so much detail in this chapter. The next one is going to be about Gus and his reaction and thoughts so stay tuned. I will probably be up very soon. 
> 
> This chapter took a while! Thank you all for reading i really appreciate it!


	6. Gus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever! Exams are right around the corner right now so it is getting hard finding time to write.

The level of nervous Brian was feeling last night was nothing compared to right now. They boy looked up to his father and worshiped the ground he walked on but Brian was still feeling uneasy. He prepared himself for the conversation he was going to have, but knowing Gus he knew it was impossible. You never knew what to expect when it came to Gus. As loving and kind as he was Brian understood that it was very much possible that Gus would be upset over this. At the end of the day, not many kids like to share things. Sharing a father which he didn't see that often only meant it would make things even harder.

Brian never had to think about this before. The only time he had been worried about Gus´s affection towards him was when the girls moved to Canada. Then Brian would visit every other month, besides the girls ended up coming back a year after. Things were harder when Brian moved to New York. Setting up a new office was extremely time consuming, neither he nor Justin had much of it to be honest. Still as soon as everything was set up they made sure to visit Pittsburgh even more often then he did while they were in Toronto. Brian and even Justin made sure that the boy knew he was loved and wanted.

There was also the fact that they hadn't talked to him about the move back home either. The decision had been made when they decided to have the baby. They knew that as much as they loved New York, Pittsburgh was home because the family was there. Matilda the surrogate was there and Britin was there. The moving it self had only occurred a month before Jem was born.

It had been a slight change in the plans in the morning. Brian and Justin had talked it over, again, and they decided that maybe it was for the best if Brian was the one who picked him up, and talked to him first. It was probably better than just showing up with a baby.

Brian had now been sitting out side of the house for nearly fifteen minutes, not daring to go inside. Looking at the time he gathered all the courage he had and got out of the car. He didn't bother knocking in but rather barged into the house “Gus, we´re leaving!”

“I’m coming!” he yelled back.

Lindsey was there before Gus himself; she greeted him with a hug. She was looking at him with that we´ll talk look. The look she used to give him when she used when she teased him about the fact that he followed Justin to New York. But she didn't get to say anything because Gus was soon beside him and they were out of the door at the speed of the light.

“So where’s Jus? I thought he was going with us.” Brian wasn't a great liar but he was great at hiding his feelings and avoiding saying the truth.

“We´ll meet him back at Britin soon, thought we two could do some catching up first.”

“Sure, I’m hungry though can we get something to eat first.”

“Yeah but not the dinner.”

Not long after they were seated in a much more secluded cafe, in a corner. Brian liked to believe that Gus aside from his looks had also gotten his straight forwardness from him. “So are you going to tell me now what the whole dinner thing yesterday?” Brian noticed that Gus wasn't upset over it, more like exited to hear the news.

“Justin wanted a baby, so we found a surrogate and well… now we have a son.” Gus didn't know what he had expected but this was far from it. This was the last thing on his mind. Actually he had never even seen it as a possibility.

"Now, that´s funny dad! But if you could like hurry up and tell me, that would be great. I haven’t seen Jus in a while so i kind of want to get to Britin as soon as possible. He promised last time that he´d show me”

"It’s not a joke sonny boy. His name is Jem and he is two weeks old.” Brian didn't dare look at him in the eyes while he said it. He was afraid. Gus´s reaction and approval meant everything to him.

“Let me guess I’m the last one hearing about this? I’m sure you have a better reason for me not being there then the one I’m thinking of right now.” He seemed upset but Brian didn't know if it was because he wasn't told about it before right now, or if it was because of the fact that his father was now also some body else’s.

"Well I guess in a way, that’s what the party was for yesterday. It’s not what you´re probably thinking. The reason you weren't there yesterday is because you´re too important to me to just drop a bomb like that, like we did with the others. You deserve to hear this from me alone.” He was looking at him now. “You also have the right to be upset over it.”

Gus didn't know what he felt right now. He was thankful Brian understood he had the right to be upset over it. He just didn't know what he was mostly upset over.

“Well… thank you i guess. I think i just need some time to process it all.” The boy was 10 about to hit 11, as much as he acted as a grown up, Brian still had to remind himself that Gus was still just a kid. “I still don’t understand why you guys waited so long to tell me about him though.”

“It had nothing to do with you or the others. I wasn't done to hurt you, you know. Its just hard to explain i think I’ll leave it to Justin. If you don’t mind that is…” Gus only nodded. Brian was still shaking a little bit, his nerves would most likely not calm down until Gus met Jem. Weirdly enough he believed that if Gus only saw him things would be okay. Jem was a natural talent, wrapping everyone around his little finger. Gus would fall for him, this he was certain of.

"Wait he’s at Britin right, can we go now? I’m not even that hungry you know!” As tempting as the suggestion was he knew Gus should probably eat first. A hungry Gus was not something he was prepared to go up against. He might be Brian’s son but he had Justin’s apatite.

“We can go home as soon as you finish eating. I know you’ll end up complaining half way there, about being hungry.”

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also sorry; about this being so fucking short and leaving you hanging (I myself hate when people do that so again sorry) I just wanted to post something since its been a while!


	7. Brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gus finally meets Jem!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever! Good news is that i finish school in a week agh i can smell the freedom!

There’s been a lot of talk about Brian being nervous today, about him shaking and being afraid of loosing his sons love. Now, even though those feelings still were there to a certain degree, he was feeling hopeful. The other possible reaction to the conversation they had earlier that he had imagined this morning was much worse. Right now he was hopeful that he would make it through this day without having another meltdown.

They walked into the house, Brian leading the way to the nursery, knowing he would find Justin and Jem there. Brian stopped by the door, seeing his father Gus did the same. Justin was sitting in the ugly armchair he had insisted on buying. Brian had to admit that seeing Justin and Jem like this, the armchair didn’t bother him as much. Justin was holding Jem in his arms whispering something so softly it was impossible for the Brian and Gus to hear. Brian also knew that Justin was so lost in the moment; they could have stood there for hours without Justin noticing them standing there. So he motioned for Gus to step in.

Justin finally looked up, a soft smile on his face.

“Hi, Gus” Brian would never admit this to anyone, but his heart melted a bit by the look Justin gave him.

Gus didn’t say anything at first only moved closer so he was standing right in front of Justin. Brian was looking at him intensely, trying to read his face expression. He looked stunned but mostly curios, but hey it’s not like Brian hasn’t been wrong about these kinds of things before. He turned to Justin again who must have gotten the clue that Gus was not going to say anything any time soon.

“I would like you too meet Jem.” Justin always managed to amaze Brian. How could he manage to keep that genuine smile on his face in a time like this, when his own knees were shaking at the moment? “You want to hold him? He looks little and all but he’s not as fragile as he seems.” Gus answered with only a nod and as he sat down next to Justin, Brian was also thankful that the armchair was big enough to fit two people. Justin passed Jem over to Gus and Brian was sure that his heart was trying to escape out of this chest.

So he looked at them, the three most important people in his life and couldn’t understand how he had made it here. He had a little suspicion though that the blond twat who was grinning like a fool at the moment, had something to do with all of this. As cliché as it sounds, a thought that would have made him throw up just a few years back, he couldn’t imagine another place he would rather be at the moment.

As soon as Jem was in his arms Gus was entirely intrigued with the baby. This right here was possibly the closest he would ever come to having a brother, seeing as the girls didn’t want anymore children. That was not the whole reason though; Justin was practically his father anyway just as much as Brian was. In the huge family he was raised in biology didn’t really matter. Justin had been there with his dad for as long as he could remember.

Whenever Gus visited them in New York or they came to see him, Justin always made sure that Gus enjoying himself. The fact that he was practically always smiling didn’t do any harm anyway. He was kind and loving, and made sure Gus knew it. He was also the only one that could get away with calling him Gussy. So the idea of having a mini Justin around could not be that bad. Damn he could feel himself thinking more and more like his father.

“So... what do you think?” Justin had the same face expression he does when you give someone a gift, you are really exited about. Hoping they would love it the same way you did.

“I guess he’s pretty ok I´ll probably like him better when he will start doing stuff you know.” He didn’t want to let them down, but being honest no matter what was his trade mark.  “And as long as i don’t have to help change his diapers we are probably going to get along just fine” and then he gave Justin a smile which he returned just as big.

Smirking at Justin, Brian added “don’t worry about it Gus. Justin got the diaper thing covered.”

“You wish! You are totally helping me with this. Besides we had a deal remember?”

“Yes, but then again I remember the part that came after that discussion much better.” Justin blushed and Gus only rolled his eyes. He was used to them acting like this.

The rest of the day went by quickly. Justin had fed the baby his formula and then Gus had helped him give Jem a bath. Jem fell asleep only seconds after his bath. He hadn’t even full out cried, only whimpered a little while Brian put him in the crib.  That was another thing about this baby that amazed Gus. He remembers Jenny Rebecca being a baby briefly but her awfully loud screams weren’t something easily forgotten.

There was not much talk about Jem after that. Gus suspected they didn’t want him feel uncomfortable by all the baby talk. In some way he was happy with that. So after a movie and pizza, Lindsey came to pick him up as he had soccer practice later. They said their goodbyes, after hugging Brian Gus said “say bye to my little brother from me would you?” his father had smiled like a goof and nodded.

Walking to the car Gus thought about it all. He was actually happy that he wasn’t leaving them all alone in that house. Gus had often felt bad going home after a visit no matter how often he came around. He knew his dad and Justin liked having him there and had often wondered and worried if they ever felt alone. He guessed he didn’t have to worry about that anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The updated are probably going to be more regularly now that my exams are over! I am thankful for you all who is taking time to read this story. Make sure to leave kudos and a comment if you want i love reading them! Will also promise to answer them more quickly from now on. Like i said earlier i can smell the freedom!


	8. Loud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever.

The next few days went quickly as they settled into a routine with Jem. Brian was still amazed with the baby, except for those first few day they brought Jem home he didn't really cry a lot. Unless he was feeling really ignored which again, not a very likely thing to happen as they both coddled him. 

"Do you think they might have given us the wrong baby at the hospital?" They were watching Jem sleep neither of them having the heart to wake him up right now even though hey had to be at Debs in half an hour. 

"Stop being a goof Brian. We were there when he was born and as I recall you watched over him like a hawk, and slept very little. There is no chance in hell this baby is not mine. Besides we've had this conversation before, he looks _exactly_ like me." He was smiling so big and Brian's heartbeat changed its tempo, so he couldn't help it but lean down and kiss the blond twat. 

"Jennifer said you were an awful baby and that you cried a lot. You didn't just wake up at three in the night like Jem, but three times each night. But I guess the _always_ being hungry part he might be yours after all."

"Oh my God!" Justin tried to hold in his laughter not wanting to scare Jem in his sleep. "You really need to stop spending so much time alone with my mother." His arms around Brian's waist as Brian held around him. 

"What can I say you Taylor's just can't resist me." 

"More like you can't resist us! You love to hang out with my mother, adore the fact that Molly looks up to you, and don't get me started on me and Jem!" They were both smiling because at this point in their lives Brian didn't even deny it anymore. "Now come one we should get going, we're already late, I'll get the bag and you take Jem." Brian made a sound of protest.

"Can't bealive you are asking me to ruin his sleep so we can go to a house full of loud noises." It's not like he didn't want to go and see the family, see Gus mainly, but this was harder than one would think. 

"Brian, you know he is going to be alright, its not like they have never seen a baby before and they've already met Jem. They are probably over it by now anyway." He knew his words were for shit but they really should have left an hour ago. For the most part Brian thought it was a blessing living this far from everyone else. But then there were these times when they had to plan things hours in advance to get places on time. Not that Britin was that far away really. They were just shitty at getting things moving. A baby didn't make this go faster. 

With a kiss Justin went to get the bag. Brian carefully picked Jem up with a blanked wrapped around him, whispering "I'm so sorry" as if the boy could understand every word.

***

Of course Brian didn't bother knocking on the door and they went straight in. Debbie was the first one too notice them. "Baby Sunshine!!" Brian flinched a bit when she practically ran towards them. Then Justin handed Jem over to her and they stepped into the living room. Everyone was all over them in seconds, eager to see the Taylor-Kinney baby. Eager to see the trio together. It was stupid really for Brian to expect any thing else, of course this was going to happen. This baby right here was something no one in the room had thought would ever live long enough to witness. This was Brian Fucking Kinney. A baby with a lesbian, a baby he wasn't even meant to have much to with is one thing. A baby to raise with his partner  (God that word alone used to make him cringe) was an entire different thing. 

Everyone said their hello and Jem began to fuss so Deb handed him back to Justin. Brian kissed the now calm baby and whispered to Justin that he would be outside. Needing to get out of there and get some air. He smiled at him to show that he was okay and Justin returned it. 

"God I never thought I would live long enough too see that." 

Brian turned not surprised who he saw. "Hello to you too Michael. You know I became a father a long time ago."

"I know and you are a good one, but this right here is different. 11 years ago you would have been out in this back yard smoking pot, six years ago an entire pack of cigarettes."

Brian couldn't help but chuckle. "Justin made me quit smoking."  Michael smiled.

"Justin has made you do a lot of things. Most of them turned out good I guess. Is the baby in there going to be one of those good things?" He couldn't help but ask.

Brian's nails were digging in his hands, he didn't want anyone to think that he had been forced into this. He didn't want Jem to ever think he was not wanted. "That's not what happened you know. I wanted Jem too. Justin never asked me for a kid, never gave an ultimatum. I wanted _us_ to have him." Michael was surprised but didn't say anything. He only leaned against Brian and Brian put an arm around him. 

"I'm happy for you Brian" he said genuinely and Brian belived him. 

"Thanks." They hugged and as if on cue Gus came out to announce it was time for dinner. They all settled in, Brian on a chair next to Justin and creased his thigh under the table. He looked around as if searching for something, or rather looking for someone. 

Justin leaned into him for a second "He is sleeping again." Brain nodded, resisting the urge to go check on the boy. Soon they all resumed eating, Brian looked around the table and they all seemed to be engaged in different a conversations. Emmet and Drew talking about their next vacation with Justin. Blake with Lindsey about the the kids, mainly J.R and Lea, Ted and Blake's six year old adopted daughter. Ted was trying to assure Ben and we'll mostly Michael that Hunter would not end up as an unhappy accountant. The boy loved what he did and he would probably go far. 

***

Brian was of course the first one too be excused from the table. The sight of all the calories on the table alone were enough to make him feel full, desert was out of the question.

Jem was up by now and Brian soon found himself on the sofa with the boy, feeding him a bottle. "You're hungry aren't you? It's not fair that everyone else gets too eat and you dont right?" His voice was merely a whisper. Soon Gus joined him. 

"Is he going to be boring for a long time?"

"It depends what you mean with boring. He isn't going to talk or walk for a while i guess."

 "Am i still going to spend the summer with you and Jus now?"

"Of course you are! I still care for you just the same as before Gus, and trust me that is a whole lot. Like truly awfully lot." Gus smiled back at him.

"I hope Jem will think I am cool and stuff when he gets older." 

"He will think you are pretty badass actually. Don't tell Mel I used that word. Everyone loves their big brothers. Besides if he is anything like Justin he will naturally suck at sports and you will have too teach him to play soccer and everything you know." 

"That would be cool. I am pretty good at it."

"I know you are, you didn't make team captain for nothing!" Soon the conversation turned to soccer, how he was playing this season, what teams they had beaten so far and so on. Justin came and sat down on the couch, Gus in the middle. His arms went around the boy and he pulled him closer to him. Gus now leaning on  his chest.

"I'm so full I don't think I can move."

"You ate like the most cake out of all of us Jus of course you are full!" 

"You should have stopped me Gussy we were in this together! One piece for all of them the rest goes to the two of us."

"I couldn't get down more than three." He said turning to his father "but Jus really went in for it. I think it's a new record."

Their laughter could be heard in kitchen. The rest of the evening were spent like this, the four of them occupying the sofa. Gus doing most of the talking, about school and soccer and everything that came to his mind. None of the noise seemed to bother Jem as long as he was being held by one of his daddies. Their laughter a lullaby as he once again closed his eyes and resumed sleeping. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE!  
> Also congratulations for all of you living in the U.S! FINALLY!!
> 
> Let's celebrate equal love!


	9. A break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin's point of view.

It was weird. We were sitting on the couch and Brian was feeding Jem a bottle. I was drawing the two of them together.

"I think I need a break. Some time off." I couldn't have turned my head around faster, to look at him. 

 My mind started racing in so many different directions right it was hard to form out words. What the fuck did he mean by that. A break as in I need to stand up and stretch my legs a break? No that couldn't be it, he said some time of. Must be something bigger. This is getting to much for him isn't it? _Damn it._ I really thought we were past this already. It's not like we hadn't gone through the whole  _need to be present for kid through it all_ thing when we first started talking about having a child. I mean come the fuck on. You know how fucking long it took me to get past the whole insecurity bullshit about Brian wanting to raise a child with me? Months I'm telling you! I mean it almost got to the point of him having to beg me for a kid. That can't be it. He can't be thinking about leaving us right now. 

"A... break? " He must have read right through me because suddenly he became frantic.

"I know what you're thinking and that's far from right" he turned towards me and then gave me the sweetest smile. "I meant time off, as in time off from work. Five weeks to be exact." Well i wasn't expecting that to say at least.

"B- but you've said you couldn't take much time of. I mean with Kinnetik and all, you had to much work to do." He was looking right at me and God that combination of smirk and eyebrow raise was going to be the death of me. 

"I am the boss Sunshine I think I have the right to do whatever the fuck I want." I couldn't help but smile back at him by now. "I have actually looked into it and I think my well paid employees can handle it. I talked with Cynthia and Ted to help clear out my schedule, from on next week I am all yours. Well yours and Jem's." Too say I'm happy would be a huge understatement. I would have engulfed him in a hug if I didn't have to think about squeezing Jem. And then anger and a rush of sadness took over me.

"I'm an idiot aren't I? I am sorry Brian it's not that I am just waiting for you to take of or bail. It's just that sometime I look at you and I look at Jem and us together, I can't believe that my life is so prefect right now" and if a tear or two rolled down my cheek I only noticed it because Brian was wiping them of. Brian was done feeding Jem and but he was still smiling. 

"Yeah, you're an idiot." Then he kissed me so softly I thought I was for sure going to melt right there. "I understand what you mean though. Things can never be perfect without something going wrong but you don't have to worry so much because they aren't. You still have to change nasty diapers every day. See there's our balance in the universe." Now I was really crying but these were happy tears. God he is such a goof and I love him to death. "Now I think Jem wants some attention form his other daddy." His smile only grew bigger. It's like this every time I stop and think that i can't possibly love him more he does something like this. I took Jem in my arms, letting him rest on my chest.

"God Brian I love you so much." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College is worse than i'd ever imagined it to be.


End file.
